This was my reality too.
Now, at 38 years old, I'm realizing the next layer that needs to be shared with my family, things that never got expressed. It's all coming up right now. You see, as I've gone through the stages of stepping into my deeper work in the world I've had to face a lot of fear; fear of rejection, fear of failure, fear of success, fear of abandonment and on and on. I've had to release, over and over, the fear of what people might think, and if I'll be judged, if I'll still be liked (which was a BIG one growing up as the
"good girl"). All of this started in childhood.
My commitment had to be bigger than my fear.
I have felt my whole life that I was here for big work. Perhaps it's the Leo part of me, or the Old Soul part of me, but I have known that one of my biggest priorities has to be finding and living my Soul Purpose. I realize this is not the case for many people. I feel many people on the planet are happy just getting by, doing their job, having their families and experiencing a mediocre life. That was never going to cut it for me. I've been on a quest since I left home at 18 to find and live this path as I feel that it's becoming even more expressed in the past year as my husband and I have discovered Emergence Care (EC) and prepare to open a practice together offering this powerful work to others. With EC, I feel I found “the thing” I've been looking for. That doesn't mean that all I've been doing for the past 20 years has not played a direct part in preparing me for this, because I know it has. But you know when you find the thing, or "the one" you've been looking for it's like you found the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow? (which I now realize was inside of me the whole time :-)
As I've found this next level of expression of my Soul Purpose with EC, I have come to the next level of clearing and purging in my life to make space for it. This has included writing some pretty emotional letters to my family about things gone unexpressed. Part of me that I don't feel has been known because I didn't feel they would be accepted. It is time and it must happen.
As my husband John recently saw in a vision for me, it's time to "give death" to the relationship and the person that I was to make space for the new one. That may sound intense but oftentimes we have to become our own Warriors of Light, letting go the things are not serving our highest good, standing in our Truth, being Self Expressed no matter what, and trusting that the Universe always provides- support, love, encouragement. If those that we are in relationship with (friends, lovers and the family we were born into) can't handle the "new us" then it's time to let them go (or, in this case, at least the old version of them).
There are people out there that love and support you exactly as you are. That's your "Tribe" and they're waiting for you to join them. I have found mine and it feels like coming home. Life is too short to waste time with people who do not hold you in your highest possibility and love you unconditionally.
Know this and speak your truth.
It is time.
Care to join me in my purging extravaganza?
Share below what you are committing to this holiday season to welcome in the new next year.
It much more fun doing it together ;-)
All my love,
© 2014 Marcela Ashburn McBride