I met a man today at a writers group that told me the story of losing his wife of 41 yrs. to ovarian cancer. He said taking care of her at the end of her life was the hardest thing he has ever done. He doesn’t wish that on anyone.
He warned me to make sure I understand the signs and get checked regularly.
He also shared about a 35 yr. old woman that they got to know in the hospital that had the same disease. As he shared this part, I being 35 myself, felt a twinge of fear run through my body.
“Oh, God!” I thought. “She is my age!”
At that moment, my life flashed before my eyes and I thought, “If I only had a short time to live, what would I do differently?”
I ended up sitting with that question the rest of today and pondered it on the front porch this evening with my beloved, John. I shared with him the story.
He asked, “So, what would you do differently?”
The first thing that came to mind was, I have lived an amazing life! I have a fabulous relationship with my beloved. I have 2 perfect kitty cats and a fantastic stepson named Dylan. I have 2 awesome nieces and 4 awesome sisters-in-law. I have beautiful relationships with my mom, dad and brothers, that I have worked hard to create, (despite growing up in alcoholic dysfunction). I love all of my in-laws (yes, it IS true!) I have traveled to fabulous places, living in many for up to 5 months at a time, including backpacking through Europe staying with natives, getting to know the culture firsthand.
I run a business helping women to live in their highest potential. I get to motivate people through my writing and my teachings. I live in a beautiful home, in a great city full of fascinating people. I am 1 ½ hrs. from my mountain home and 3 hrs. from my favorite retreat at the beach. I have explored my spirituality and feel strong in my belief in the Divine that connects us all. I have sailed through the Caribbean and swam with tropical fish.
I have already lived an amazing life!
Do I want to do more?
YES, of course, but what I realized was that I set out to live an intentional life at 18yrs. old when I left home with nothing but a backpack on……full of freedom, curiosity and possibility.
I haven’t looked back. I believe that when we start to awaken to the Divine within us (as I did at that time), we can’t go back asleep. The more we awaken, the more painfully beautiful life becomes. We see it all. We can’t just take the good parts. We have to take it all. I feel the avoidance of the tough parts is what keeps us from going deeper in our lives. There is gold in it all.
Are you living a life of no regrets?
Do you love fearlessly?
Are you fulfilling your deepest heart’s desire?
If not now, when?
What are you waiting for?
Don’t wait for cancer to be the reason you say, “YES!”
© 2012 Marcela Ashburn McBride
Marcela is a Priestess Path mentor, co-owner of Body Mind Shift Urban Retreat, Sound Healer and Lover of Nature.